Always at First Read online

  Copyright © 2014 by Phalla S. Rios

  Cover Design by Sarah Hansen of Okay Creations

  Edits by Jennifer Roberts-Hall

  Proof by Laura Hampton

  Interior Design by Integrity Formatting

  ISBN 978-1-49935-440-9

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owner.

  All rights reserved.

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Epilogue

  A Note to Readers

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  For my husband, Phillip.

  Thank you for showing me what love is supposed to be, every single day and the rest of forever.

  Present ~ 24 years old

  Roman leads me away from the helicopter and down the walkway to his estate. The moment of silence feels surreal as I await my fate. This is a horrible nightmare and I will wake up safely in Kevin’s arms.

  But this is not a dream.

  This is real.

  The man who refuses to let me go removes his hand from my lower back and roughly turns me to face him.

  “I will give you the life you crave my sweet angel, but you need to stop fighting me. Let go of him…he doesn’t have the means to give you your happily ever after like I do,” Roman murmurs as he steps closer to me. His hand grips the hem of my sweater, tugging me toward him.

  I stand frigid, waiting for his next commanding move, but nothing happens. Tears spill down my cheeks, and my body tremors as I find the courage to speak. “I will never love you,” I whisper, turning away.

  “Ah, you see, I don’t need love. I own you, Angel,” he growls as my name slips off his lips. He roughly cups my chin, forcing me to face him. “Love kills you. You live to find love, only to be cheated and left to die alone.” He kisses the tears on my cheeks away. “We will make this work.”

  His dark gaze locks with mine, sending a shiver down my back, then he gently lifts my left hand, his thumb rubbing slowly up and down my ring finger. “You need something here…a reminder, perhaps,” he says evenly.

  “A reminder?”

  “Yes, baby, so you don’t forget who you belong to.” His lips tug into a sad smile.

  “Who I belong to…” I repeat, my voice breaking.

  “Yes…” he whispers. He glances slowly toward his house and frowns, then his jaw clenches tightly, and his lips press into a hard line before he turns back to me. “Our family is waiting for us. I need you to wipe away everything that happened today.”

  I shake my head and let out a cold, hard laugh. “I will never forget what you did to Kevin.” Or what you are doing to that poor girl, locked away at your secret compound.

  “That was nothing compared to what I can do…what I will do if you try to leave me again,” he warns, dangerously. His eyes shimmer thickly with sadness and dangerous rage.

  I flinch and take a step back. “You have me. You own me. I’m yours to do whatever you want. Just leave Kevin alone.”

  I just made a deal with the devil.

  I hate myself for being so weak.

  “As long you continue to stay by my side, he will continue to stay a non-factor.” A knife twists deeply into my heart, turning slowly so that I feel every inch. He wants Kevin to become a distant memory.

  My Kevin.

  “Shall we go back inside, now?” Roman asks as he gently wipes the tears from my eyes. He takes my hand and we walk back together. Reality consumes me as we enter his home. My world will forever be changed by the hurricane force that is Roman.

  His family looks up and smiles as we enter the main living room. “Dinner is ready and on the table.” His mother smiles warmly. She moves off the couch and walks directly towards me, wrapping her hands around mine and leading me to the formal dining room.

  Everyone follows and we each pick a chair, leaving the head of the table chair for Roman. He stalks toward me before I can sit and pulls out my chair, then does the same for his mother and Ellie. He walks back to me, bending down to brush his lips against the curve of my ear. I flinch as goose bumps attack my body.

  I want to run.

  His hand grips my shoulder. “Remember what I’ve asked of you,” he growls in a whisper.

  He straightens and walks away, leaving me breathless and frazzled.

  “Bella,” Maura breaks me from my trance. “Where did you two love birds run off to?”

  I glance back, catching her smiling wide, eyes crinkling at the corners. She’s happy. Roman fed them a story about my departure. He must have. My gaze moves to Roman.

  “Andres told mom how I surprised you at the café and whisked you off to a romantic outing,” he tells me, eyes narrowing slightly.

  “Angel, tell us everything. Don’t leave out any details.” Ellie winks.

  This is bad.

  All bad.

  Now I have to protect them from Roman while trying to save my own life.

  “Roman asked me to marry him!” I exclaim, forging a grin of happiness. This lie and the many lies to come will keep Roman happy until I can destroy him. The dark storm clears as his eyes brighten—my proof. I hold the power to manipulate Roman’s emotions.

  Kevin.

  His name flashes like a neon sign reminding me, why I’m here. Why I’m pretending to love a man, I despise. My heart drops to my stomach. Will I be able to protect everyone?

  Ellie sits in shock before she jumps up and throws herself on me. She hugs me, squeezing me tight. “You’re going to become family,” she whispers happily.

  Everyone crowds around us, hugging and kissing. Roman is the last to give me a kiss. When his lips touch my cheek, I flinch as if he has burned my flesh. His brow creases together, and his jaw twitches in anger. He’s not pleased with my reaction, and a silent promise of punishment suspends above my head.

  As the room settles down, Roman pulls me closer to him. My breast crushes against his chest as he places one hand on the small of my back, the other gripping my wrist. He turns us until his back is to everyone.

  “You are a surprise, baby,” he whispers hotly against my temple. “You shock me each and every time.” He lets me go and gracefully sits back in his chair, while I stand in a complete utter mess of emotions.

  I’m not getting out of this alive.

  Roman waits patiently for me, his hands clasped in front of him on the table. My hands shake as I sit. “Shall we give thanks now?” he asks.
<
br />   “Yes,” I answer in a shaky voice.

  He nods and closes his eyes. He thanks the Lord for his family’s blessing. When his eyes open again, I feel them holding a steady gaze on me, but I avoid looking at him as I stare out to the backyard.

  “Let’s eat,” he says.

  I watch as he stands up to skillfully carve the turkey. Once he’s done placing several slices on everyone’s plate, he hand feeds me a piece. I lick my lips, savoring the flavor. Roman bends down and kisses me fiercely, his tongue tangling with mine, hot and wet. My body betrays me and I lean towards him, moaning.

  I miss how we used to be.

  God, what’s wrong with me?

  I am revolted with myself for liking what he’s doing to me. But sexual desires course through my core, consuming me.

  Roman breaks away and tells his family that we are leaving to celebrate our engagement. Without waiting for a response from his family, he leads me to his awaiting helicopter. “This was planned for earlier today. I wanted to surprise you with a romantic lunch, but you had other plans, sweetheart.”

  He softly pecks me on the forehead before climbing in. He grabs my hand and rubs his thumb in a circular motion against my palm. “And since we weren’t’t able to go earlier, I had my people switch up my surprise for you. I believe it will knock your socks off.” He leans in, capturing me with a possessive kiss.

  He breaks away, our lips still touching, to speak again. “Maybe the surprise will hook you back in. I need you to look at me the way you used to.”

  I gasp in shock from the raw emotions he just declared.

  It’s unnerving

  It’s not fair.

  He’s yo-yoing with my feelings.

  I shake my head, inching away from those lips that turn my insides out. The real problem is that I still care deeply for this complicated, dangerous and secretive man.

  The helicopter takes off and I watch the flight take us up to the highest mountains. In the distance, I see a white tent lined with sparkling white lights and his men surrounding the area. We land a couple of yards away. Roman swiftly unstraps me and leads us to his surprise.

  The inside of the tent is decorated to look like an Arabian lounge area with a comfy rug and colorful pillows. In the middle of everything is our very own dinner.

  “You do know how to spoil a woman,” I mutter truthfully.

  Roman tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “I do, Angel. If you let me, I will treat you well. You will be the queen to my kingdom. Everything will be at your disposal.”

  I nod. He speaks the truth, but I know he will dictate my life forever and I will become nothing.

  We walk over to the tent, bodies close together, and his hand on the small of my back. Roman lies down on his side, propped up on his elbow, and I sit in front of him.

  “Feed me, love,” he says, his voice soft.

  I stab a piece of turkey and half turn to feed him, but he moves, and the fork draws blood from his bottom lip as I shove the meat in his mouth. Roman doesn’t’t react, his facial expression blank as he chews. He licks his lips after he swallows, then with one swift move, he has me on my back, pinning me to the rug beneath his ragging body of muscles. The thought of what he can do to me is staggering.

  “Acting out will send us down a path that will be very dangerous for you.”

  My sanity slips away from me, and I hear myself screaming.

  I can’t stop.

  My arms thrash around, hitting him in the face repeatedly as I try to move my legs to kick out from under him. He lifts himself up a little, allowing me to remove myself from him. I get on my knees and I shove my arms out, hard, hitting his shoulders, but he doesn’t flinch. He pushes himself up onto his knees, staring me down, his eyes dark and cold.

  “I don’t think you are ready to see the monster that I am.” His voice is low and deadly.

  He drops his head forward, hands clenched into tight fists, but he doesn’t’t move, and a long, tormenting minute goes by before he gets up and leaves.

  I am alone.

  Present ~ 27 years old

  I let her leave with him. I walked away again. There’s no excuse for this; I’m letting her slip away from me and I’m not doing a damn thing about it. And here I am, on a fucking plane filled with that cock sucker’s people, sitting across from the dirty looking guard who held a gun to my head, before shoving me into this very plane.

  “You lost, fucker.” He smiles, showing his ugly yellow teeth.

  “Why don’t you put the gun away and I’ll show you who wins,” I growl, slamming my palm down on the table that separates us.

  He snarls. “I suggest you shut the fuck up.”

  Fear should be running through my veins, stopping the error of my judgment, but fear was taken away from me at a very young age. All I possess now is the determination and the need to run towards danger.

  I push myself up, ready with a left uppercut, but he lunges and hits me hard with his gun. The impact is enough to knock my brain out of my skull and I fall back onto my seat, feeling blood ooze out from the side of my head.

  “I will fucking kill you…”

  I slur my last words before my world goes dark and memories of my past drift to the surface.

  *

  I stand staring at the name engraved on my building, a name that doesn’t belong to me but to someone I call him my best friend. He’s the older brother I never had; my brother from another mother as we used to call each other.

  The pain of not having him in my life anymore is something I’ll never get over. My guilt will keep me away from him forever. I haven’t seen him in four years; he ran into trouble, putting him behind bars for the next fifteen years.

  And I’m to be blame.

  God, I miss him.

  I regrettably open one of the double doors and walk in, finding the same receptionist I helped hire.

  “Mr. Hawken?” she says, standing up right away and walking to me. “It’s been ages…we miss you here. And Mr. Conti.”

  “I know, Shirley. I miss seeing you as well, though I only come in once every six months or so,” I joke wanting to lighten her mood.

  “But you always make an impact.” She smiles. “Can I get you anything?”

  “No, I’m here to see the other Mr. Conti.”

  Her smile drops, and her eyes drift away to the door as she whispers, “He doesn’t’t like visitors.”

  “I don’t care.” I notice the two men in black business suits standing guard by the door. “Those are his people?” I ask, arching my brow.

  She nods slightly and walks back to her desk, picking up the phone and pretending to talk into it. “Mr. Conti, your appointment is here. Yes, I will send him right up.” She hangs up the phone and smiles warmly to me. “He will see you now.”

  “Thank you,” I say, giving her a weird look before walking to the elevators.

  Two men dressed in the same black business suits greet me on his floor, my best friend’s floor. I walk past his brother’s goons, eyeing them with contempt and a smirk etched on my face. They all think that their master knows I’m coming, but he doesn’t.

  I open his office door forcefully, swinging it open. He’s on the phone, staring out the window with his back to me. He turns right away, pulling out a gun from inside his suit jacket and aims without firing. His phone is still in his hand, pressed to his ear, and his eyes blaze with rage.

  His men rush in and tackle me down to the ground. My body hits the carpet with a thud. It hurts like a motherfucker, but I try not to show it as I’m now surrounded by him and his minions. “I’m here to discuss Marcus’s Company.” I rush the words out before he can crush my skull.

  His eyes narrow and his jaw pops. “You must have a death sentence.”

  Yeah, he wants to kill me.

  “Who are you?” one of the guys asks, pressing a gun to my temple.

  “I’m the fucking owner of this building,” I growl.

  They all laugh, except him. H
e’s still assessing me, his eyes cold and calculating. His desk phone rings, but he ignores it, continuing to stare me down. Then the ringing stops and Shirley’s voice comes through the speaker, filling the room.

  “Mrs. Nicks is here to see you. May she come up?”

  He glances toward one of the other men. “Let her up,” he barks.

  Once Shirley is no longer online, he speaks again. “Liam, why is she coming in to see me?”

  “The fuck I know,” one of the men grumbles, running a hand through his hair.

  “Take him out of here and put him in the other office. I’m not done with him.”

  They roughly grab me and haul me to my feet, dragging me out. I see long blonde hair before I’m shoved into an empty room, alone. The lock clicks from the outside.

  My day has gone to shit. I should have just continued stalking Angel. She would have been more fun to watch than being here. I pace the office, wanting nothing more than to have Angel’s soft body pressed against me at this very moment.

  A woman’s voice comes from the other office, taking me away from my thoughts. “Roman, I want you.” Her high pitch whine irritates my eardrum.

  His low and rude voice mumbles something I can’t make out.

  “I only got with Liam to get to you, but you still act like you don’t even notice me. I’m done waiting around for you to realize that we belong together…I know you want me…Look at me, dammit! I want you…”

  “Get up off your knees,” he orders loud and clear.

  “No! How can you not want me? I’m naked and ready for you…”

  “Liam, get in here!” his voice booms through the wall. “Get her out of here.”