Always at First Read online

  “Oh my God, Liam…you’re here today?” she shrieks. “You asshole! Let me get my jacket!”

  “I’m done with you,” another man’s voice hisses.

  “Liam, I’m sorry, baby. He came on to me. I didn’t know you were going to be here…”

  Her cries die out as I hear the sound of flesh hitting flesh; a slap loud enough to be heard in the lobby.

  Fuck!

  Regret threatens to choke the shit out of me. I should have been there to stop them from hurting her.

  The door opens and he walks in, adjusting his jacket and tie. “Sit,” he orders.

  I sit, anger raging inside of me.

  He takes the seat on the other side of the desk, then picks up a pen as he continues to stare me down. He finally speaks after a long moment. “Now tell me why you’re here.”

  “Marcus sold the company to me.”

  The pen in his hand snaps in half and ink flies everywhere, dripping down his hand, but he doesn’t notice any of this as his focus remains on me.

  He tosses the pen to the floor, then stands up and charges to me. I stand up just as quickly, meeting him eye to eye.

  “Look, Marcus told me he talked to you already. Here’s the contract.” I pull the thick, folded papers out of my front pocket and toss it on the desk. His eyes land immediately on the contract, full of rage. “My lawyer visited Marcus last week to get his signature. The company is now mine.”

  He picks up the contract and, without a glance, rips it apart until it lays in shreds on the floor, his body convulsing with animalistic fury.

  Yep, this is my cue to get the fuck out of here.

  “I see you’re not in the mood. I didn’t want lawyers here. I wanted to talk, just you and me, out of respect because you’re Marcus’s brother. But I see that’s not what you want. I will come back another day with my lawyers.” I walk away, my gut telling me he’s going to have me followed and killed before I have a chance to come in with my lawyers.

  I slowly open my eyes, wincing from the pain, and lift a weak arm to pat my swollen left eye and the cut on my forehead. My hand rubs along smooth cloth, surprising me as I squint and take in my surroundings. I’m in the back of an SUV, yellow teeth sitting next to me.

  “The flight attendant fixed you up. She didn’t want you to fucking die.” He laughs menacingly. “Keep your fucking mouth shut and I’ll get you home safe and sound, pretty boy.”

  He taps his gun over my head once. I turn away, slouching further into my seat and shoving down my bravery. This prick can do what he wants with me as long as I stay alive.

  Angel.

  Her beautiful face pops into my mind.

  I will never stop loving her. She was mine from that very first day I saw her rushing out of the house in tears.

  The vehicle slows to a stop and I glance up, noticing my apartment building.

  “You’re here.” The guard reaches across me to push open my door, and I move to grab the handle to balance myself, when a hard shove comes from the fucker’s boot and I fall. My body slams hard onto the concrete as the SUV speeds off.

  “Oh my God, Kevin!” Nat screams from a near distance. “Shit!” She helps me to my feet, then adjusts my arm around her shoulder before circling her thin arms around my waist. “Wait until I see that bitch again,” she seethes.

  “Nat, please don’t start,” I beg, my voice barely a whisper.

  “You can’t keep hurting yourself for her.” She bites down on her lip, crying quietly.

  Sighing, I stop moving and Nat jerks back. “Aaahhh!” she yelps in surprise, giving me the stink eye.

  “Nat, you can’t choose who you love. The heart wants what the heart wants.” I nudge her chin with my fist, feeling the pain shoot up and down my body. “I love Angel.”

  “Let’s get you to your apartment. You’re not looking so great.” She looks ahead, ignoring what I just told her.

  When we’re in the elevator, she leans me against the wall and takes in an exhausting breath. I inch my body away, feeling horrible for putting her through this. She shouldn’t be here saving me.

  She shakes her head. “Let me help you, brother. You’re not in any condition to walk on your own.”

  I give in, always afraid to hurt her feelings. She hauls me all the way to my bed, then drops me. I’ve missed the comfort of the softly cushioned mattress. I stretch and cry out in agony as my body rolls over into a fetal position from the sudden pain.

  “Fuck, I feel like I just got hit by a fucking train,” I groan.

  “I’m going to check your bandages and your bruises, okay?” She moves toward me hesitantly.

  “He didn’t damage my pretty face, did he?” I cock an eyebrow and wince in pain.

  “You’re all banged up and yet you’re still an ass.” Nat laughs, slowly peeling off the bandage cloth. “Shit, we need to take you to the hospital now. You need stitches, lots of fucking stitches.” She covers her mouth, tears in her eyes.

  “Stop being such a pussy,” I mutter, gently slapping her hand away.

  I hate seeing my sister like this. She shouldn’t be here. I slowly move to the side of the bed to sit up.

  “I’m worried about you, Kevin,” she whispers, taking a seat on the bed next to me. “When are you ever going to look out for yourself and let yourself deserve someone better than Angel? She’s not good for you.” As her words trail off, they cling to my heart and burn. I’m not okay with Nat having ill feelings towards Angel.

  “Stop worrying about me. And you have to accept the cold hard truth that I’m in love with Angel. And Nat…I tried to let her go, I really did, but that woman stole my soul and I need her to live, to breath, to finally live my fucking life.” The pain surrounding me is too much, and I fall back onto the bed.

  Ignoring my declaration of love for Angel, she gasps in panic. “Let’s get you to the hospital.” I watch her pull out her phone and punch in some numbers, then she glances over to me before giving a play by play of lies to protect the events of today. Lies to get me fixed up without questions.

  Natalie drives me to the back of a medical building, then shuts off the engine and turns to me. “The doctor is my friend. He won’t ask any questions and he’ll see you right away.”

  I stare at the building curiously, but questions need to wait. “Thanks Nat,” I rasp in pain.

  “Let’s get you inside.” She rushes out and opens my door for me, pulling me out gently.

  “Nat, I can walk,” I say, stopping her from trying to carry me.

  “Fine,” she grumbles.

  The walk to the door is just a couple of feet, but at the speed I’m going it feels like miles. When we finally get to the door, it swings open and an older man with salt and pepper hair walks out. He smiles warmly at my sister, before giving me the once-over.

  “Hey, babe, take him to the room by the door.” The guy turns around and walks back in.

  The fuck? “Babe?” I question raising my brow.

  “We’ll get to that later.” She smiles.

  I scowl, but she laughs and takes my arm, dragging me to the room. I take a seat on the exam chair, feeling like a fucking kid. I haven’t been to the doctors since I was seventeen.

  “You look funny sitting there.” Natalie laughs, taking a seat on a chair.

  I narrow my eyes at her. “Who’s the guy, Nat?”

  “He’s my boyfriend,” she says, laughing nervously.

  “I’m fucking killing him,” I growl. “You’re just nineteen! How old is he? He looks to be in his forties.”

  “Wait until he fixes you up first, Mr. Badass.” She sighs. “He’s thirty-five.”

  I look around my vicinity for something to throw at her, coming up with nothing. Her boyfriend walks in, carrying a tray of instruments and setting it on the counter. I eye him with vehemence as he removes the cloth patch from my head, inspects my cut, then wipes my head with a wet wipe. He then picks up a syringe with a big needle filled with dark liquid.

  �
�This is to numb the area.” He injects me before I can say anything.

  Ow, this fucking hurts.

  He sets the syringe down and quickly sews me up. When he turns back to his tray, I pat the stitches to check his work. He’s good.

  “Okay, you’re all done,” he says, turning back around. “Make sure to stay out of trouble until your wound is healed.”

  Now I can kill him.

  I crack my knuckles and start to stand, ready to confront this asshole.

  “Kevin, don’t.” Nat jumps up and stands between me and her boyfriend before I can jump off the seat and nail his ass.

  “Move, Nat,” I grit.

  “Please, Kevin, don’t do this,” she pleads, her palm on my chest.

  “You guys, okay?” her boyfriend asks from behind her.

  “Yeah, babe, we’re fine. I’ll see you later on tonight.”

  With her hand still on my chest, she turns and kisses him. I push off my seat, knocking her into her boyfriend, and she spins around, slapping me across the face.

  God, that hurts my feelings more that my face.

  “Babe, you should go,” she says not taking her eyes off of me. “I’ll call you later…” He leaves and Nat’s eyes are still burning with anger. “Butt out of my life, Kevin. You left seven years ago, so you don’t have any right to step in now.” She chokes on her words as she cries.

  Yes, I am the world’s biggest prick.

  She’s right, but I will never stop worrying about her. I pull her into my arms and let her cry against my chest. “Let’s go get you some ice cream and sweep everything under the rug, yeah?”

  That’s all we’ve been doing—avoiding the pain. There’s nothing I can say to make her feel better; she’ll always feel abandoned by me, and I can never be the brother that she needs. It’s too late.

  “You’re a dick, but yeah, let’s go,” she sniffs.

  As we walk out to her car, my mind drifts back to the past and the pain resurfaces.

  Present

  As I wait for Roman to come back to me, the events of today play repeatedly in my mind. Then I remember when I met him, and the beginning of our relationship plays like a movie before my very eyes.

  He’s been a constant fixture in my life since the moment I met him. He has never just left like this before, never left me feeling insecure, lost and alone. I know I shouldn’t feel a sense of loss, but since he walked out, that’s all I’ve felt. My heart clenches when I think about him not ever coming back to get me.

  This is all very sick and twisted. But if I had never seen the girl, if Kevin had never come to Minnesota for me, then my relationship with Roman would be just a normal boy meets girl, girl falls for boy and stays blind to the ruthless life he leads.

  “Can I come in?” Andres calls from outside of the tent.

  I shake the images, clearing my mind, clearing my heart to get the strength I need to deal with Roman when I find him.

  “Yes,” I answer, standing to meet him.

  He steps in and smirks as he looks around. “Your hair is messy,” he says, waving his hand above his head.

  “Where is Roman?” I ask, my tone rude and short.

  “Whoa, whoa…do not kill the messenger.” His smirk turns to a full grin. “Boss wants me to escort you back to the estate.” He glances over to the spread of food and frown. “You need to eat.”

  “I’m not hungry,” I mutter.

  “When an order is given, it must be seen through…now eat.” His grin vanishes from his handsome boyish face.

  It’s useless arguing, so I sit back down and slowly eat, picking at the food to make sure I annoy him.

  Andres grows impatient as the minutes tick on. He shifts his feet around as he crosses and uncrosses his arms over his chest, so I drop my fork, causing it to clang against the fine china, then turn to him.

  He cocks an eyebrow and shakes his head. “Let’s go.” I scramble to my feet and follow him out. “Get in and don’t ask questions.” He gesture to the helicopter with his hand.

  My eyes narrow, questioning him, but he ignores me. I step inside and he swiftly straps me in. His hand slaps the side of the helicopter and he steps away.

  “Andres?” I call out wanting answers, but his name gets lost in the winds of the moving wings.

  As the estate comes into view, I brace myself for the conflict that will ensue with Roman. The chopper lands and I unhook the straps and climb out, walking toward the back door. A figure steps from the dark shadow of the house to meet me and I step back in surprise, but quickly relax when I see Roman standing before me, his hair disheveled, and eyes blazing

  “You’re drinking?” I ask, eyeing the cup in his hand. I’ve never seen him drink before now.

  He glances down at his cup as if he didn’t realize it was there, then his focus comes back to me, his eyes burning darker than before. I take another step back, my heel hitting something hard and I fall backwards, landing on solid ground.

  My world instantly becomes dark.

  I can hear male voices mumbling quietly near me as I slowly come back to life, so I keep still, listening to what the hushed voices are talking about.

  “The blood work is complete?” Roman asks in a soft, yet still commanding voice.

  “Yes, she is indeed pregnant,” the other man answers, sounding joyful.

  “Pregnant,” Roman repeats in disbelief.

  “I’m pregnant,” I whisper to myself in disbelief also. My hands move on their own, to caress my belly, lovingly.

  “Yes, congratulations,” the other man says. I can hear his smile through his words.

  Tears cascade down my cheeks.

  Tears of sorrow…

  Tears of fear…

  Tears of joy…

  I love my child already.

  “Thank you for your service. Andres will see you to your car,” Roman says to the man.

  My heart sinks from his coldness.

  “Has she been in a lot of stress?” the man asks before he leaves.

  “She has, but that is not your concern.” Roman is no longer speaking quietly.

  “I see. Well, take good care of her. I advise you to put her on bed rest for the rest of the month. Please call me if you suspect she’s not feeling well.”

  “From this day forward, your service will be for her general health only. Sherry will take over for her pregnancy and after care. Do you understand?” Everything he just said comes as an order…and a warning. He reaches into his trousers and pulls out a wad of bills, handing it to the doctor.

  “As always, you are too generous.” The doctor smiles before walking away.

  Roman turns to me and we lock eyes. His hands move into his pockets and he shrugs, that little gesture making him look so damn vulnerable and completely stripping the image of the powerful man he is.

  Stupid, stupid me.

  My need to comfort him takes over. “Come here,” I whisper.

  He kneels down beside me and grabs my hand, clasping it tightly with both of his. His eyes move side to side, searching for answers within mine before he speaks.

  “I let jealousy take president over logic and responsibility, and now you have a part of me growing inside of you.” Roman drops his gaze and closes his eyes before he speaks again. “I promise to make you and our child my life’s purpose. Everything I have will be yours, Angel. Let’s become a family. Marry me.”

  My heart stops beating. I gasp for air, choking on nothing as Roman frantically sits me up and rubs my back.

  “Breathe, baby, please breathe,” he pleas soothingly.

  I focus on the man before me. I was drawn to him the moment we met. He has completely captivated me. He is a man who wants me with so much force that he is willing to stop the world to have me as his. And he gives me what I need most.

  But is he just an illusion?

  Kevin. The man who holds my heart prisoner.

  God, I love him.

  I love him.

  I love him.

&nbs
p; I cannot ever stop loving him, but can I forget him? Can I marry a man who will never have my heart?

  Yes, I can.

  My child will have both parents. I have seen what a broken home can do to a child. I watched Kevin go through the world of pain without a dad around.

  I reach my hand up to Roman’s cheek. “Yes,” I whisper.

  He leans into my hand, closes his eyes and sighs deeply. We stay unmoving, locked on each other for what feels like forever. Then he pulls me onto his lap and hugs me tight. I fall into him resting my head on his shoulder, letting him embrace me.

  “I have a ring for you,” he murmurs.

  I watch him reach into the couch cushion and pull out a box. He pops it open and tilts his head back to catch my expression.

  “I had it customized for you,” he says softly.

  “Of course you did.” I smile as I stare in awe at the beautiful ring— bead-set of diamonds surrounds a round stone and twinkles with beauty.

  “Do you like it?” he asks, giving me that shy smile I fell in love with.

  “Yes, it’s beautiful, Roman,” I whisper.

  He instantly captures my lips with his, his kiss giving me all of him. I break away first. “I want you to hold me, for the rest of the night, just hold me,” I whisper.

  “Yes, baby.” He lies back down, taking me with him.

  The box with the ring falls to the floor.

  Past ~ 6 years old

  I stare out the window of my playroom, looking at the street. Dad’s coming home today, and I’m so excited!

  “Kevin, I need you to do the dishes!” my mom yells from the hallway.

  “I’m going right now,” I mutter, leaving the room.

  My mom stops me, pinching my ear and twisting until I cry out in pain. “Don’t you disobey me again? When I tell you to do something, you need to do it right away, understood?”

  “Yes, Mom. It won’t happen again.” I say, wiping my tears.

  “Good, now go. You have ten minutes before you need to do the laundry.” She turns and walks back to the room where she keeps her special drinks.

  I’ve had some of her special drinks before. She keeps telling me that it makes her happy, and the day Dad didn’t come to visit I was sad and wanted to be happy again. That was the first and last day I ever went into that room.